He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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