omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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