I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
