Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
