i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
