Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize