My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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