Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
