apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
