On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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