i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
