So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
