Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So squirting runs in the family.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
