Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize