You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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