Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
