She is in my trunk
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Barsexuality is the new black.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
