She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
