I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize