His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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