is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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