Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
