i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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