I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize