We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
