Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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