I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
