I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize