Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
