I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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