there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
