those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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