i just wanna soil my oats bro
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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