Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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