my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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