Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
