i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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