I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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