i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
