Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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