apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
