I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
zippers are such a cool invention
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
