I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
