Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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