so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
