when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
