Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
