About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
