Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
