what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
