Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
