i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
