i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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