Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
