There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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