I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
