if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
