He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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