This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
