erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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