Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
