he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
