I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
