I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my poor anus
I lost the right to judge tonight
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
