Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
