your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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