We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Come on in and take your pants off
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