we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
one might say we're banned from that church
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
