I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
