He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
