grandma shit on top of the toilet
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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