I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
