problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
